Showing posts with label first drafts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label first drafts. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 May 2009

New poem start.

a verse to a new poem popped into my head today. It's just teh first thoughts, but it's a start.
It'll be using the rhyme scheme AABA.

Let that sleeping dog lie
If you don't want to die.
Please, I beg you,
Let that sleeping dog lie

Why, Don't you see?
Those fangs come up to your knee.
So please,
Heed my plea.

It's only two verses, but I suppose it's a start.

EDIT: stanza 3 draft 1.

No! Don't go an stroke him!
I don't want to put you in a coffin!
That dog's a danger,
He is fuelled by Sin.

the last lines' a bit dodgy, If I can think of a better one, I'll change it.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

'Walking in the snow'.

This is a little something that came into my head while I was watching the BBC program "Why we love poetry" or somethign like that... I'd like soem comments, please...

Walking in the snow.
As I plod on
through the snow,
around the trees,
I glare up at the cold in the air.
It's mocking me,
putting me in my place.


Then some snow floats down,
settling on my nose.
And for the first in a long time,
a smile,
creeps onto,
my face.


Hope you liked it... Please comment, even if you hate it, especially with some constructive advice, etc...

P.S. the last three lines were originally one line, I then added the commas for effect, but it looked weird and I changed it to three separate lines.

P.P.S. I forgot to say, It's a ten-minute first draft, so improvements will probably be needed.